POLICE WOMAN CAUGHT ABUSING HER POSITION.

By Gareth McCreadie, NEWSREPORTER

Police have identified the suspect in yet another male kidnapping. And it’s one of their own!

Police refused to release details on the case initially, but were forced to after internal investigators found that a cover-up had taken place to protect a fellow officer.

“We haven’t made any conclusive decisions regarding the punishment of the female officer. Obviously this is a unusual case and all the circumstances will have to be taken into consideration. In the meantime the officer has been temporarily relieved of her duties while a full investigation takes place,” said Detective James LeBlanc of the City Police Department.

Suspicions were aroused yesterday when the officer in question failed to return from a routine patrol in the city. It’s alleged she issued a standard parking ticket to an unnamed male, then took the unprecedented step of arresting him.

One eye witness said, “One minute she was writing out his ticket, the next she had him cuffed and spread-eagled against the hood. When she shoved him into the back of the car she yelled, ‘You’ve been a bad boy. I’m going to administer some justice of my own.’ And then she speed away with the guy. I don’t know what came over her.”

The as yet to be named victim was found five hours later in the officer’s abandoned vehicle. Reports suggest he had been thoroughly strip-searched while playing a twisted version of Cops and Robbers. Despite this, he has decided not to press charges and has since asked the officer in question out on a date. A trip to the cinema being the most probable location.

So far, the police have been reluctant to suggest a cause of this female crime epidemic.

“We have no evidence, other than the empirical data that says statistically this is out of the ordinary,’ LeBlanc said.